the people you chose
Some people end up in your life because you share a grandma.
Others show up because someone said, “Come on, you’ll love them,” and against your better judgment, you went.
Now you’ve got a group chat, a regular seat at the table, and at least three stories that can never be told in public.
Friendship is efficient like that.
They don’t show up on the family tree. They just show up. Full stop.
I know a thing or two about this. My hubs and I moved here from New Zealand, which is a very long way from anyone who’s legally required to feed you on a holiday. So we chose each other, and then we started choosing everyone else.
These days we turn up on doorsteps with a dish and a hopeful look and quietly declare people family. Most of them have stopped fighting it. 🥧
why friendsgiving hits different.
Family holidays come with a script. Friendsgiving doesn’t.
Nobody has to be there. Everyone at that table picked it, and picked each other.
Which is exactly why showing up empty-handed feels wrong, and another bottle of wine feels a little too easy. (Wine is lovely. Wine also disappears.)
And it’s not just me. Etsy’s latest trend report found searches for personalized friend gifts are up 1,400% from last year. A lot of people are shopping for their unofficial relatives.
you already have the material.
My favorite part of this job is the sayings people pick. Sometimes I get the backstory. Sometimes I don’t, and as a deeply nosy person, that’s hard for me.
One little phrase can bring back a whole night. Who said it first. Who laughed until they cried. Who now says it every single time, despite nobody asking them to.
Put it on something they’ll actually use, and that inside joke gets a permanent spot on the coffee table. Bonus: it finally gets out of the group chat. The group chat has enough going on.
a few ideas for the people you chose.
For the mahjong crew. The ones who’ve heard “I was one away!” more times than they can count. The Funny Mahjong Sayings coasters say what everyone at the table is already thinking. If your group is more traditional, the Mahjong Wind set (East, South, West, North) is my longtime best seller, and Trust the Tiles is for the friend who swears she’s not superstitious.
For the friend who’s hosting. Something for the table they’ve made for everyone else. The Bar Cart coasters say it all: hydrate. pour another. just one more. sip happens. Or browse the whole host gift guide.
For the Friendsgiving table itself. If you’re the one hosting, dress the table too. The Wildflower Pumpkin coasters are a softer take on fall, pretty enough to stay out long after the pie is gone. (They also make a very good host gift, if you’re the one showing up.)
For your queer chosen family. The ones who made room for you when you needed it. sounds gay... i’m in., here. queer. cheer. or the mixed Pride set, made for raising a glass together.
For the friend group with a name. Every good group has one. Or a phrase, a running joke, a date that matters. Custom coasters put it in writing. You tell me the idea, I send you a proof, and nothing gets engraved until you say yes.
For the one who’s basically a sister. A tiny vase that says You Are a Lovely Friend, or Home Is Where Friends Meet for the friend whose house is everyone’s house.
For the friend whose dog runs the household. The Cheese Tax board, personalized with the dog’s name. Because the dog is also chosen family, and the dog would like some cheese.
it doesn’t have to be big.
You’re buying a gift, not running for Best Friend of the Year.
It just has to be theirs.
A few words on a coaster won’t fix anyone’s year. But every time they set a drink down on it, they’ll remember who gave it to them, and why.
That’s the whole point of the people you chose. They keep choosing you back.
Every piece is engraved by me, a Kiwi in Texas. 💛
Have an inside joke that needs a home? Tell me about it →
